.:: Ed ::.

Thursday, December 28

movie of the year..

..for me, it is borat. and it's not simply 'cause it's so roll-on-the-floor funny. the humour is full of sexual innuendos, (oh wait it's not exactly innuendo cause it doesn't attempt to hide), but it never gets crude which is pretty difficult to attain given the obviously sexual subject matter.

at first glance it may come across as cheap humour, with the other little digs at very traditional kinds of satire at institutions like marriage and the like. PLUS of course, all that R-rated stuff and borat himself in a skimpy one-piece bikini-lookalike.

what the trailers don't show is the heart-wrenching story behind the (mis)adventures of one man who wants, more than anything else: to belong; as well as a sincere, if somewhat misguided search for the love of his life.

so 'Borat', a tear-jerker? well not quite, unless you count the tears of laughter, but for me i had the 'lump-in-my-throat' feeling at certain parts of the story where it can get pretty poignant, rather dismal, and totally feeling sorry for that clowny character.

shall not reveal more, JUST WATCH IT and go into it, not that it's the only thing great about it, thinking that it's gonna be the funniest movie you ever watched.

Monday, December 25

and so it is christmas

as mobile phones get more advanced and niftier technologies come into our daily consciousness, it is also an alarming phenomena that while phonebook memories are getting bigger, they are also getting shorter.

it also goes to show that size doesn't matter. it's how you put them in and take them out. (the numbers, of course)

AND so, (i've digressed)

to all people from christmas celebrating families, have yourself a merry merry christmas! for those who don't exactly celebrate christmas in that manner, just pretend that you do and have yourself a merry merry christmas!

to happily-together couples out there, long may it continue and enjoy it while it lasts! to the singles, there's always your hand to help you out. (to ring up an old friend, what were you thinking?)

special mention goes out to the numerous military personnel around the world who are away from home, whether it's in the harsh, unforgiving lands of iraq or some cold desert (or in sunny singapore) you serve a greater cause, your sacrifice is immense and it's not your fault.

they say christmas is a time to tell the truth. that it is a time where miracles happen. so go on, tell that someone you love him/her; let go of that lie you've kept in you for so long; make a wish. (for fans of red-tops, go on and pray that chelsea won't win the premiership again, it may just happen this time round)

i've been babbling a lot of nonsense. i'll go. but let's just say:

all i wanted for christmas is you. but i couldn't tell you. and now that people have unwrapped their presents, i guess it's clear that santa thinks i haven't been a good enough boy.

and so perhaps i shall stop believing in santa and grow up. as i always have been doing.

Sunday, December 24

insert repetition

the fact is that, i've been here before. like a video cassette badly scratched, recurrent images play in the screens of my ajumbled mind.

and i always think of running away.

Friday, December 22

re: complaint (case id: 2231)

somebody's complaining that there's too much melancholy around here. (are you here?! haha.)

so, for the record, i think at this moment in time i'm pretty happy, thanks to a variety of things but in no small part to a pretty happy person. :D

Thursday, December 21

all i want for christmas

as i sang the song of a thousand regrets, the lyrics bit hard. it's a bit like not quite knowing what's right and how to do what's right, yet feeling all the small things that you do: just so damn out of tune.

and so it is, at least things are clear now i guess. this clarity brings with it raises more questions than it answers. i know you know i know you know how this feels.

maybe i could just leave it for a while.

at least, at last, i didn't have to run away. i could tiptoe out the door, and still be secure in the knowledge that when as i return a different person to you and to myself the door would at least still be slightly ajar.

and so, moving on,

to, erm, maybe something more airy-fairy like christmas, festive wishes, and 180 different versions of "all i want for christmas is you" playing in the air at each turn. (lotsa msn nicks with that too, you notice.) christmas has always irked me for some reason. whether it is the conspiracy theory that it's all just an elaborate corporate scam to boost certain ailing economies with piles of national debt (ahem.) that seems rather pertinent to me, or the fact that everything in life seems extra nice when it's not supposed to be. (just look at the xmas movies!)

but anyway..

what do i want for christmas? let's see. okay here goes: i just wanna feel more romance, less cynicism, less natural disasters and more miracles, and just wanna be happy for christmas! (see how stupid that sounds?)

so let's try again.

how about some cash? :D

Saturday, December 16

where we stand.

and through all the shit we arise, even stronger than before. :)

Wednesday, December 13

and the post-script

i wanna be less caring of what others feel. be less conscious, less rational. be able to get drunk, instead of never letting my mind wander too far.

to lose it and let fly at someone, instead of fearing the regret afterwards. to do something wrong, and worry about being punished later instead of feeling crippled. to dance and kiss and fuck like i've never done before, instead of being afraid to hurt someone.

and to run away, and not think of how important it is to always stay in control.

the slightly more original

with every moment i had nothing to say, i felt i had to say something. but everything i say seems to be the wrong thing to say. why did it get so bad at all?

it's dawned on me that, much as the "as if i had never known before" feeling exists, that anything in life can be so transient. it certainly meant more to me than that. all those times spent, the times that ego-centric me has been there taking all that abuse. i had thought, foolishly or not, that a kind word of thanks would do, if nothing else.

the fight's been fought, and i don't bear to look at the shambles that remain. it could just be less painful to trudge along.

and as the wind of change blows, a gentle music holds its crowd in raptures. it is, however, but a cruel melody that is a curt reminder of everything there was, and everything that could have been.

and it was an instrument which carries with its weight a uniquely silly story, crafted with love from a stranger, and passed upon to someone who now seems even further away, more detached. it now sits in a heap, with a black shroud, away from its intended owner, and further away still from the tenderness that was to have been.

the unoriginal

I don't think I have it in me anymore to simply keep giving. Right now, I want to take. I don't want to have to consider another's feelings. I don't care if I hurt or wound someone.

How about this: I. simply. don't. care. anymore.

thanks cori!

Saturday, December 9

not that strong

maybe, the reason why i saw things the way i used to (and probably still have to do), is not cause of all the strength that i appear to have.

could just have been too afraid.

Friday, December 8

.

i need some sanity.

i've neglected far too much, of things and people around me. perhaps more significantly, myself too. is this what i really need?

cause if i lose the highs at least i'm spared the lows

despite all the logic that's been laid on the board.. 'you' know my answer.