Thursday, December 21
as i sang the song of a thousand regrets, the lyrics bit hard. it's a bit like not quite knowing what's right and how to do what's right, yet feeling all the small things that you do: just so damn out of tune.
and so it is, at least things are clear now i guess. this clarity brings with it raises more questions than it answers. i know you know i know you know how this feels.
maybe i could just leave it for a while.
at least, at last, i didn't have to run away. i could tiptoe out the door, and still be secure in the knowledge that when as i return a different person to you and to myself the door would at least still be slightly ajar.
and so, moving on,
to, erm, maybe something more airy-fairy like christmas, festive wishes, and 180 different versions of "all i want for christmas is you" playing in the air at each turn. (lotsa msn nicks with that too, you notice.) christmas has always irked me for some reason. whether it is the conspiracy theory that it's all just an elaborate corporate scam to boost certain ailing economies with piles of national debt (ahem.) that seems rather pertinent to me, or the fact that everything in life seems extra nice when it's not supposed to be. (just look at the xmas movies!)
but anyway..
what do i want for christmas? let's see. okay here goes: i just wanna feel more romance, less cynicism, less natural disasters and more miracles, and just wanna be happy for christmas! (see how stupid that sounds?)
so let's try again.
how about some cash? :D