Saturday, March 11
public service announcementto those dudes entering the army soon, don't be upset or despondent. don't lose hope on life. don't feel down. i know it's hard. it's hard enough for me too, despite having already served 2 months+ of ns, to not feel like that at times. well, i knew how it felt when i was about to go in and i have a valuable piece of advice for you all: too bad.
too bad for you all, just as it is for me. please try to enjoy it more than i do.
so privates enjoy a little more freedom than recruits. duh.
i dreamt of her again. like how it always is. i feel nothing anymore.
a short chat with mistress reveals that i am just drifting in life, with no direction, nowhere to go. just existing, not very much living, not of much value to anyone, or any cause. and i'm quite bored of complaining along the no-longer-interesting lines of "why must the government / army / whatever do this to me". i think as time passed i have found it easier to adapt to this wretched life. complaining once in a while helps, but it won't take me very far. posting order will be out next friday, and it basically means i'd know where i'm posted to. i'd cross my fingers and pray for the best, for a job which would give me more time to myself, where i can do my own reading and stuff like that.
but someone rightly pointed out that if i become some clerk or storeman, i'd have nothing to talk about. no worthy experiences to share. basically an already boring life is made worse. now..
ah screw it. it's not even within my control, so i shall not overly fret. (i'd still be hoping.)
one week of block leave. let me make full use of it. i'm just afraid i'd never wanna go back.
