Wednesday, December 21
as we approach the midway point of the english premier league season, allow me to look into my crystal ball. ladies and gentlemen, my predictions for the remainder of the season!
1. chelsea will win the league. (duh!)
2. manyoo and liverpool will fight for 2nd.
3. arsenal will improve, seeing sunderland closing in on them.
4. tottenham will nearly sign ronaldinho, ballack, kaka, ronaldo and pele.
5. wigan will constantly be called "the surprise package"
6. peter crouch will not be top scorer.
7. blackburn will not top the fair play table.
8. graeme souness will constantly be "two losses away from the sack"
9. steve bruce will get the sack.
10. portsmouth or bolton are possible destinations for marcel desailly.
11. jose mourinho won't get a xmas card from the FA.
12. liverpool will not get "most entertaining team" award.
13. we will never get to see "the robbie fowler of old".
14. sunderland will not get 40 points.
15. michael essien will be invited to join professional boxing, after how he knocked out lauren's teeth by hitting his chest.