Sunday, July 31
-shrugslove. hate. friends. work. play. sex. lies. life. death.
Friday, July 29
erm.i still miss you.
Promise me that
you'll give fate a fighting chance
somehow, i pray, that you'd give this a second shot. after all this while and the first shot that never really was.
Wednesday, July 27
the last leafthe roses cry,
in agony they dry;
a weary smile ever so wry.
take me on now,
i'm hardly afraid;
he tells me that i've got it made.
i glance across the plains,
in the wilderness;
and all i sense is the loneliness.
i see the image,
through my mind like water it gushes;
take me through from ashes to ashes.
say one thing,
then mean another;
hang me out like heat to butter.
daffodils sing,
in warped chorus;
tell me that it's not really humourous.
lights flashing right,
that ray that blinds;
the decisive moment that worlds collide and bind.
from grey to white,
ghastly visuals play again;
those facades and that face and the cold winter rain.
new found glory - i don't wanna know
Your eyes were covered in sunglasses
when they first met mine
I sat there and stared at you
you didn't seem to mind
The awkward ways we meet
First comes heavy breathing
staring at the ceiling
What will happen next ?
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know
I never cared how I dressed before
but I cared that night
Anticipation ran through my bones
and my clothes never fit right
I can't wait til we meet again
First comes heavy breathing
staring at the ceiling
What will happen next ?
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know
Framed pictures start to be put on the walls
Constant visits while im out on the road
It's hard to leave sometimes
but you know where I lay my head at night
First comes heavy breathing
staring at the ceiling
What will happen next ?
I don't wanna know
I don't wanna know
Tuesday, July 26
rhetorical rhetoric
if you had one wish that would come true, unconditionally, and you wished for true love, how true would it be anyway?
can one ever learn to love another?
does fate precede action, or does action manifest itself in fate?
is ignorance a good excuse for being oblivious?
is it okay to think that it's all okay?
is good karma accumulated whenever you do something that won't result in bad karma?
would the world be worse off if everyone says what they feel and feel what they say?
Sunday, July 24
ramblings
i've been looking for something to blog about for 4 days.
nothing much has been going on.
everything's the same. all the events. feelings. people.
sometimes it just comes. that feeling so hollow, so fallow.
Wednesday, July 20
ny girls 3-1 srjc
first victory! sense of achievement! and i'm sure it won't be the last.
Tuesday, July 19
thinkin bout thinkin of you
i'm acutely aware of how good i am sometimes and laughing away stuff and pretending that everything is alright.
Sunday, July 17
all wright, great!
okay not exactly all changes. but i have made a few minor and not very noticeable tweaks to the blog! thus the point of this post, duh!
if you look at the calender, you can now click on the Chelsea matches and you'll get to see the scorers! formula one results coming soon too, i hope. i can visualise the girls and their weird looks now. it's just something i'm doing for myself, can?
perhaps more importantly, and more useful to you people out there, are the countdown timers below the Chelsea squad list. counting down to a variety of milestone dates.
updates: Chelsea have signed an unknown french midfielder lassana diarra, and have agreed a fee for the not-so-unknown star called shawn wright-phillips. a deal is due soon! welcome aboard!
it's been a nice evening.
Friday, July 15
i will survive
i'm just feeling rather appreciated tonight. it's always good to take stock of yourself and what you have.
was chatting with one of the soccer girls just now. and while i didn't ask for any such tributes it was really heartening to know that your efforts are not going unnoticed. i kinda wonder why i agreed to help out too. guess it was just impulse and this gut feeling that said that it would be a great idea. i get to play soccer and keep myself fit. i get to know more people. and by just helping out without any other motive i get to accumulate good karma too. why not?
and also saw that blog entry that aarthi wanted me to see. =)
am glad to have settled down into a pattern of studying too. maybe it was just the mid yrs. but it has freaked a lot of us out. hopefully i won't run out of steam. i don't believe i would. and i too hope that some of my beloved friends will get into some kind of rhythm.
school. studying. soccer. then there's magic too. and keeping in touch with a few friends everyday, and some other friends on others. my life's kinda hectic. in a strange way it is quite enjoyable too. while i am not exactly having a whale of a time it's definitely not hell. i can get through this.
results: C for history, D for lit, O for econs. totally unexpected. yes, C for history. thought i would have done better for the others, particularly econs. simply didn't study for lit, so no excuses made. not too good on the whole, but it could have been much worse.
so there you have it. quite a contented me for the night:
although some elements of my life may not be in pristine order,
although some part of me is and might always remain empty,
although some nights i would spend being in delusion and disillusion,
although some days i would spend in fatigue and confusion,
i will survive.
Wednesday, July 13
you wished it was real
it's easy to look upon a painting,
in all its grandeur and splendour,
and its picture-perfectness;
and say you wished it was real
stop, deep breath,
feel the atmosphere so surreal.
the warm winds so embracing,
the stars stud your sky.
tiny drops of rain like shooting stars,
trickles down that face,
like rainfall down the soul.
and you say you wished it was real.
Tuesday, July 12
del horno unveiled
mourinho looking really really excited.
Monday, July 11
somebody save me
i cannot bear to get through my days now that i see the blue in my morning once more.
i'd gladly be your punching bag. and whatever else you want me to be.
life has taken on a warped meaning. at least that means it has one.
oh good heavens. what have i got myself into.
Sunday, July 10
it's one of those nights
where i'm just getting very disillusioned. i can't really think of one single thing which i can live for, which i can die for.
sure football is fun. sure i have great friends. fell asleep during what was an exciting formula one race. maybe i'm crying out for epl to return. but seriously..
studying is becoming such a routine. strangely i feel lost if i don't read, even if it's just one page. and it's all degenerating into a robotic, mindless activity.
i am not suicidal. i don't want to die, yet. but i just can't find much reason to live either.
Saturday, July 9
and if.
i want to blog. but not quite sure about what.
i'm sure if i'm at a loss for words it would say so much.
nothing can quite describe this.
i think i want to move on. oh.
Wednesday, July 6
philosophy of life
i found that one philosophy that encapsulates life so aptly. maybe my life. heard of murphy's law anyone?
"what might go wrong, will go wrong."
can't sleep
i guess things cannot get worse than not being able to sleep when you know you have to.
oh yes it can. throw a headache into the mix.
bahhhh.
ooh i am thinking more of that pretty face.
Tuesday, July 5
ramblings
i think i like the sound of the wallflowers! but new found glory, a lil disappointing.
the ny girls football team was much better than i thought it would be. had a good workout too. quite satisfied with my finishing.
magic boosting sucked again. no idea why everytime i get the lousy cards. maybe i should just stop boosting anymore. err. sounds improbable.
i want a digicam! actually i want so many things that money actually can buy. but i've got no money. and of course i want some of the things money can't buy too.
incoherent post. bye.
Monday, July 4
dear idiot:
why? are you such a bloody fool.
why? you never learn from your mistakes?
hey man you just messed up.
couldn't have been higher, the stakes.
xoxo
dear xoxo:
i'm sorry. i never asked for anything.
i said what i feel. if that's wrong then, guilty as charged.
right content, wrong bad timing.
then again it might never be right.
i'm genuinely just happy for you. that you're happy.
all i'm saying, is that you should enjoy yourself and that's all i want you to do.
i'm still not asking for anything,
let's just be what we are now; i know why
they say the next step you take, could be your biggest mistake.
not back to square one, i hope.
if we're running in circles, please brake,
smile, i'll be your best friend; the best idiot you ever had.
idiot
Sunday, July 3
.
all is not lost,
hardly. anything.
what have i found?
in truth, nothing yet.
