Monday, February 28
it didn't materialise. whilst constantly optimistic i somehow felt it would not materialise. and i was right. so not that bad a disappointment. just get it out of the system NOW.
so wait i shall. i'm just happy and relieved you got what you want and worked for.
and i probably just realised this will be a longer, harder struggle than i ever might have braced myself for.
i am ready. failure means nothing to me. besides, you probably do. close to everything.
or what if i am never even allowed to step out. -wonders wonders-
let me revel in the carling cup victory for a while more. the mundane troubles of human life can wait a bit. as i rejoice in achievements that are essentially not mine.
no i am NOT studying.
if so then when will i achieve something i can truly call mine. wait till. wait for.
maybe i should choose to go on in a void and i'd be less conscious. less consciousness means less worries.
but then again i might always have operated in a void. endless entrapment of my various thoughts overlapping one another causing this void to seem much more occupied than it should be. i never listen do i.
everytime i feel like this you manage to vanquish the ghosts.
but everytime i feel like this.
why do i even worry. one may ask. it's just a game.
oh no it's not.
okay Chelsea are carling cup champions.